Getting On Antisocial Media~

   Getting On Antisocial Media

 byline:  Alexander Anonymous

Ever since you’ve collected hundreds of friends, you don’t feel that you’re as close to your actual friends anymore.  You’re not trying to be so distant.  You can say exactly what you want to say at any given time, but you don’t talk to anyone as much anymore.  It’s just texting and messaging, predominantly.  You happen to post some remark for many different people to see at one time, but often never just share it with the person right next to you and experience their reaction. 

         How many words some of us will type through our lifetimes now is staggering.  We are all novelists now, typing Tolstoy-length stories of our existence, albeit unconsciously, piled up with whatever we don’t delete or lose.

         All the average joes and janes suddenly started acting like pseudo-celebrities, and in this day and age the real celebrities seem to be even more pseudo than them.  It’s all me me me.  Attention-seeking stage hogs.  No one’s listening over dinner as they fiddle with their phones.  Nobody even realizes what they’re seeing in real life because they are snapping pictures of it.  They are not in the true moment because they are busy trying to capture the moment. 

         No expert even knows how long digital files will really last.  Maybe they’ll last indefinitely, but maybe they’ll be gone in a few decades.  There is no basis for comparison, being a new technology.  You know many a person, including yourself, who has had an external hard drive crash, and all is lost, even in the process of taking that into account and trying to make a back-up.  Nothing beats hard copies in a safe, dry storage spot.

         You won’t straight out backstab social media, though, because, honestly, you love it, many aspects of it, anyway, but it is like a drug, with harmful side effects.  For one, it can distract you tenfold.  An example of this is how you are now straying for a minute from this oh so focused article to check your messages…  And now you’re back.  Just checking to see if this BBQ on the weekend is still happening, so, rather convenient, actually.

         This has definitely been scientifically studied by sociologists and psychologists and all that ilk, many times over, as all aspects have of this out-of-sync algorithm.  It boils down to this:  People aren’t hanging out in person quite like they used to do.  They’re simply hanging out on a computer or phone all the time.  Everyday is a constant photo session, an attempt to connect with the world “out there,” which is all fine except it becomes an escapist addiction and then there is a lack of connection going on “right here.” 

         Another detrimental effect is low self-esteem.  Social media users can experience a negative feeling of self-worth when they constantly see others doing things which they deem to be more exciting than what they are presently doing, or when they post something and it receives very few or no comments or likes with the corny like button that most people, yourself included, are guilty of using.  Or seeing how few views their video has received and how transparently unpopular it is and how apathetic their un-audience is. That is a surefire way for someone to feel that truly no one out there in the great beyond gives a flying fuck.  They are only concerned 90% of the time with what they themselves are posting. 

          Then there are those who receive a fairly great number of positive feedback as they are somehow likely in a niche of over-obsessive smart phone users who have nothing better to do with their time than sift through this never-ending barrage, but in the scheme of a billion-some users, their numbers are teeny-tiny compared to self-righteous celebrities that so many don’t care much about either.  That is less time again that they are having in real life with real friends.

           Let this essayist hasten to say, it is a fantastic way to keep in touch with friends and share things, and it can be a wad of fun, but why does everyone want to text nowadays?  It’s simple.  No one wants to talk to each other that often.  The majority feels uncomfortable talking to many others, but, with messaging, they can perfect and sugarcoat a message, analyzing it from every angle before sending it, thus, losing the spontaneity and skill of conversation.  Maybe we will be even worse at talking to each other in the future.  Keep in mind that when this society talks to each other, they most likely need some sort of assistance without feeling awkward as hell, i.e. an alcoholic beverage to loosen the language.  Oh well, there can be spontaneity in writing and writing can be a beautiful art.

             It is basically an antisocial and artificial society that we exist in, and I say exist because many of us don’t really live.  Is it really an antisocial plutocracy wherein the majority of us are merely just pawns?  For many- but for many others, they can resist this mold in various ways, such as using social media as an outlet. 

             Remember how many people’s families and friends have been transported away in a scattered mess due to jobs or the briberies of higher education in this era of post-industrialization, and then you realize how lonely indeed the modern person is, and can see why everyone strives to reach some out-of-reach connection in this frenzied social media age.  There are towns with no real communities.  Everyone has been sacrificed around the world in the name of Progress and are either propping up or attempting to become the Elite.  Our friends are gone.  The world is an antisocial place, but we are very social people.

             There are those who use social media in the attempt to bring awareness to social injustices around the world in the hopes of alleviating them.  More power to these people, but most people are just looking for a laugh.  Don’t ever underestimate the importance of laughter, though.  The majority of people probably just skim over these posts and then just go on with the business of their day.

             Also, there are those who use it mainly to market themselves and their products, and there is nothing too extremely wrong with this, but many users get annoyed with these users if they seem to be solely advertising, as many people are just naturally annoyed by commercials, and this is a whole other sociological study as to the many reasons why.

              You see how it is all about money, once again, or at least a huge chunk of it is.  Let’s say you are essentially just a musician who uses social media, and that is really the reason why you signed up with it in the first place, and then just got sucked in.  At first, it was just a way to share your music with people and keep up with some other underground bands that you liked.  Anyone that you considered a close friend, you would just keep in contact with through phone calls, e-mails, postal mail or ideally, in real life.  Besides, you’ve always considered anyone that tries to have too many close friends as spreading themselves thin.  While it’s good to have many friends or friendly neighbors/acquaintances and be a part of the community, it is not considered an especially valuable attribute to attempt having too many close friends, because you simply don’t have the time for everyone in daily life.

               You and your band became part of Myspace, and while it was cool to post some songs up there and find you had tens of thousands of listens on the Myspace player, after a time you wanted to share some other songs but everyone was being solicited by a million other bands that day, and the new songs only posted in the hundreds, which didn’t look nearly as good when the booking agents came to look at your page.  Soon after, it didn’t matter, anyway, because there was a mass migration over to Facebook and no one you knew even touched Myspace anymore, and you had no idea why.

               Very frustrating, because it takes a relentless amount of time and energy constructing and maintaining one of these pages.  Therefore, for a time you were off the social media in that manner, until it began to feel like you didn’t and almost never did exist at all.  A band page was reluctantly created, in part so no one else could steal the name, and then, without being proactive, it just sat there like a stagnant pond.  Ergo, the vicious cycle began.  First, the embarrassing, universal invite, which sounds more like a plea, requesting that friends in your social network “like” you.  Upon enough likes, you can then give your page a personal name. 

              With your immediate network, you garner a certain number, a certain percentage who will exert the extra energy to click a button, before it fizzles out.  Consequently, there is nothing left to do but either nothing or promotion or building.  This is what catches people by the balls.  If you do nothing, then you look like a nobody.  On one hand, why should a normal person really care if they’re a nobody or not?  On the other, you can be so high and mighty as not to care what the world thinks, telling yourself that image doesn’t really matter, but it is an unfortunate fact that image is extremely important in the sense that it can ruin a business and a business that isn’t seen at all is dead from the start.  Whether a business or a band or what-have-you, people will look at this social media page and say to themselves that there aren’t many likes, so the product or service must be lacking somehow, or a booking agent may see a band and think that they don’t have a big enough following to be booked in their club.  In reality, however, if you think about the things you do like, what does it matter if you like the Facebook page or not?  Why should they really have a Facebook page anyway?  You like a certain band or actor, you listen to their music or watch their movies.  You couldn’t care less about their Facebook page.  If you want to find out some more about them, you go to their website or read other articles.  If you want to eat Ketchup on your fries, then that’s what it’s there for, that’s what it’s good for.  You like it.  Why in the hell would you want to go like the brand’s Facebook page?

              Word of mouth and the organic manner of growth as a natural promotional tool is ideal, but people only know so many people in real life, so there has to be some sort of push.  You think you might do the tried-and-true, honest, grass roots marketing approach, then run into dead-ends.  For instance, you must first be friends with someone before you can request them to like your Facebook page.  This seems legitimate, as no one enjoys being spammed.  That leaves two choices.  You can befriend mutual friends or strangers at random who appear to have the same tastes you do, and who you think might actually appreciate what it is you are offering, but this is also ineffective.  One, Facebook blocks users from sending too many friend requests in a given time and also makes it difficult to ask people who you’ve never really met, as you’re not supposed to do that, and many others are wary of being approached by someone online whom they’ve never met and are suspicious no matter how good your profile pic looks, because especially when it comes to the internet, appearances can be deceiving.  At a certain point, you begin to feel ashamed that you have sunk to the level of nothing but a low-life hacker, and that you are so pathetic and insignificant that there is no one out there with any credibility and power that wants to help you in any way.  Then you begin to despise everyone and withdraw yourself, and all you wanted to do in the first place was just share something valuable with the world. 

                If you still haven’t given up, you realize the only way to reach people now, since grass roots marketing online is dead or at least greatly stigmatized, is through online advertisements.  It follows that you do an experiment and pay a certain daily amount and then you actually see your numbers begin to rise, even to shoot up.  You feel good for a moment.  Then you get the feeling that no matter how crappy your site was or who you were, if you were paying money for advertisements, there’d be someone out there blindly liking it.  Also, you wonder how many of these likes are even real or if they are fraudulent, which if so, makes you fraudulent.  Even worse, you realize that you have to pay for each individual post to be boosted where those who liked your page will even be able to see it on their feed!  So you come to the conclusion that there is no point, unless you spend so much money on a daily basis that you just break even and probably not even.  Or maybe you’ll bank if you’re lucky, but that’s just like playing the lottery.  So why not just go to the casino?  Except what you’re really wanting to do is just share something with others who mostly aren’t interested.

It all just begins to feel like some dunderheaded popularity contest, some silly competition, but the only one you’re competing against seems to be yourself. 

               People make annoying posts and then you have to unfriend them, get into confusions over things that weren’t so advertised in the past, such as relationship statuses, the list goes on and on.  Finally, you decide you’ll just get drunk.  Earlier, you swore off social media for at least a good portion of the time, but when you get a good buzz you decide you want to see what everyone’s doing.  You thought maybe you’d run into someone while you were having a drink, but no, they’re all home on their computers typing away, staring into the blue light of the screen. 

               You scroll through inane comments and some intelligent ones, too.  There actually are a lot of people you like on this thing that make posts you enjoy seeing.  You decide that life is short, shorter than ever, actually, and shorter even tomorrow, so you write to an enticing member of the opposite sex and spill your entire sack of beans.

               The next morning, hungover, you cringe at what you maybe wrote to someone and contemplate getting a breathalyzer installed on your laptop.  After hours of gathering your courage, you can’t avoid the insidious feeling anymore, so you cross your fingers and check your page.  There’s no reply.  There’s too many other creeps bombasting this person.  Except you’re not a creep, but how does anyone else know that?  Or maybe there is a polite reply and some flighty plan has been agreed upon, only to be disregarded at the deciding moment due to everyone’s multi-tasking scatterbrains.  Or maybe their reply was always intended to merely be leading on, because they get their rocks off knowing they are seen and wanted, but have no intention to ever meet anyone.  Or maybe you wrote something really malicious, but you were just joking, but they will never see it that way, and upon the rising sun, they have instigated the insurrection against you. 

                 You think it over and contemplate offing yourself from all social media.  You’ve witnessed many a good man and woman who have committed Facebook hara-kiri, social media suicide.  The world wasn’t always this way.  Instead, you decide on a walk through the park.  Seeing the wind causing the trees to dance to the whooshing musical sound of nature, the afternoon light playing upon the branches and leaves, you remember that life is vast, the world is infinitely alluring.  Computers only capture it in some form.  Sure, you want to write it, paint it, film it, turn it into some song or sculpture, but it is there already to behold in its endless glory, which you often forget about, seized in the grip of hurry and worry.  You just have to tell it to someone right this very instant.  There is a cafe on the corner and you must tell someone immediately, but when you get there, it is a room full of people sitting at tables, staring at their phones and laptops, wearing headphones, while the band plays on.