The Nu-News

I saw in the news today a few things ("I read the news today oh boy") - John Lennon's tooth is for sale- for auction, San Francisco is trying to ban nudity in restaurants- I didn't even know that nudity was legal in San Francisco, just as long as you're not in a "state of arousal."  Though the city is trying to make it a law to at least put a towel or sheet down before sitting down.  Paul McCartney wrote a vegetarian cookbook, or had others write it for him.  I also read some other weird things, such as Napoleon Bonaparte's, or Napoleon's Bonaprivateparts, were once upon a time mummified and sold for several thousand dollars, and later the owner was supposedly offered 100 grand and turned it down.  Other random stuff- Lindsay Lohan may be getting naked for Playboy (I only hear about her, I've never even seen one of her movies), something about JLo crying about something, a body found in a freezer may be a missing woman, Jennifer Aniston was making rumors about rumors, Muammar Gadhaffi buried in some secret location, man stuck in baby swing, Queen Elizabeth was mooned, Steven Tyler was injured in shower (I didn't bother to click on hardly any of these).  This is just what's going on that you can see in the online headlines.  But it'll hang on this screen a bit longer than these flashing headlines- and here it becomes history instead of news.  My friend's ex-girlfriend moved out and he changed the locks, she's blocking his calls and texts and he's always able to step out and look at everything objectively and realizes that life is always an ongoing story of some sort- but now he comes home to some badged officials tracking her down for some reason- no one's sure what the full story is- they may be on her trail due to illegal ordering of pharmaceutical drugs, but it's an ongoing mystery.  I often get very behind on the news and it was only a day later when we all went out to dinner with someone in the army who was getting ready to be deployed to Kuwait for a year that I found out through him, "The good news is the Iraq War is over now."  "What? When did that happen?"  "They announced it a couple of days ago."  Why hadn't I heard yet?  Why were there no celebrations?  Is it because no one believes it?  I was probably celebrating anyway, knowing me.